and see i am not going to have u in a daze, ^_^ lol - but that was a joke, ur not the joke, UGH i suck at talking to people I am attracted to.. #FML okay someone shoot and kill me now!! eeeeekkkk! OMG if he see this then he knew my ass was a fucking freak!! Ahhhhh 11
I just keep making fucking boards!! Fuck!
I am having racy thoughts, and am in manic mode.
I'm not mad or angry with you.
This is just how ridiculous and creepy I am, irl.
Just starting to freak out.
Again it's not you.
Actually when I think of you (aka. that WOMAN: who is she though?) it does make me somewhat happier.
For real, I wish I was fucking dead right now and I have no damn idea why!
I just want to fucking die and die and die and die and die and ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
okay, sorry..
FUCK!
Having a fling with my mate at only one time when I was out of town for whatever the case may be would not be cool. I mean I say this because of course both of us would expect loyalty and trust from each other. How do I then be able to look my mate into their eyes as time goes on and not say anything? I think not telling them "the situation" and the " and see what had happened was" would like even further entice me to go ahead and either commit that same immoral act again, or to even venture out even more to even more broader hurtful acts that I would be aware would hurt them but I was doing it anyway. Well, I would tell them. I tend to be shy, and so I would maybe write a heartfelt letter but I would never send a fucking text. I'd do that, so that me and my mate could talk and I would have to them the truth and yes it will hurt them and they will get angry at me and cry and shout at me. I would deserve it for doing such a act against them, and for what..not a damn thing... now that is a right out damn shame.. But if I have a mate who has compassion (which they should have, cause that is one of the first things I would expect in my mate), and who has patience, empathy, for me, they would shout kick and stomp the ground and then about 15 minutes later they would of course want to hear "what the hell happened, why I did what the hell I did, you know that space you been talking about, well baby you can be free in your space and I can be here, and so forth.." Tears will come in their eyes, and then silent treatment will go on for around 2 hours (lol, i am serious) they would have forgiven me, BUT they aint finna let me off the hook either (so yes, FML, lol)! They'll tell me they need to process it and not to mess with them for today, not to ask them for anything, that they will never tell me their secrets, or pray for me no more.But after they say that... we part ways... I go into another room and they into another room next to mine... and next thing u know... "MARCUS! MY ARM, MY ARM... OMG I THINK I BROKE IT.. OMG COME QUICK!!" They'll do that act all the damn time too. They'll do that when my heart has been hurt obviously too them and stuff and they literally feel as if I SERIOUSLY will not talk to them anymore, and then suddenly they need help getting a crook out of their neck, or they need water cause they swallowed their medication down the wrong tube or whatever lol!
Anyway.. that is my evening perspective (of course, an unedited to the MAX) for #TuesdayTransformation 6/30/15.
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